


Dream of Me

by monokumamon



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Depression, Dreams, Fluff and Angst, I'm Sorry, I'm sorry Minghao, I'm sorry Mingyu, M/M, Non-Idol AU, Prophetic Dreams, Suicidal Thoughts, Yikes, art teacher minghao, but I ignore mingyus career bc I have no fucking idea what engineers rlly do, engineer mingyu, like he thinks about it but then its cool bc he doesnt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 00:37:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9691946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monokumamon/pseuds/monokumamon
Summary: Mingyu lay still, as if asleep, surrounded by bright honeysuckles, spruce, and wilting sweet phlox. Minghao’s hand shook as he reached towards Mingyu’s calm face, brushing against his once warm skin.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the thing where Minghao said he dreamed that Mingyu died and my brain was just like 'make it sadder' so here we are also y do I write so many things where the major character death tag is applicable????? stop?? me???

_Images bled into each other, dripping at the edges like watercolors that had yet to dry. A lone figure stood in the center of a street as cars passed around him in a dragging fastforward. Minghao watched from his spot on the sidewalk unmoving as the man in the street stared back at him. He raised his hands gesturing for Minghao to follow him, Minghao shook his head pointing at the street light that told him to wait before crossing. The man’s lips moved as if he were speaking yet the words were lost in the muffled chaos of the cars that separated them. He frowned as a semi truck passed between them, and then the man was gone._

_Minghao could feel the warmth of the sun against his skin, the grass brushing against his ankles as another hand intertwined itself with his. Looking up at the person at his side Minghao became lost in warm brown eyes and sunkissed skin. The stranger next to him didn’t feel like a stranger, instead he feels at peace as they stare out to the rising sun. They stay still as the sun moved across the sky making the ocean below them glitter. Then as the sun began to sink below the skyline again their hands separate and Minghao watched as the stranger walked to the edge of the cliff they stood on. The stranger turned to face Minghao, his eyes turning white as he fell backwards into the water below. Minghao’s hand reached out to grab the stranger and pull him back to safety, only to miss my centimeters. Tears spilled down Minghao’s face as he watched the other hit the water below, the once pure blue waves suddenly red as blood._

 

-

 

Minghao woke up suddenly, his mind a mess as he tried to remember why he was crying. It took several moments before he could breath normally, he reached blindly for his phone burning his eyes with the light in order to check the time, 6:38 am. Sighing Minghao drug himself from the cocoon of his blankets, his first class was at eight and he wanted to clean the cold sweat off of himself before an hour of calculus.

By the time he was leaving his calculus lecture and heading to the coffee shop between his dorm and the math building Minghao had already forgotten his dream. Except for the idea that it was weird, but that wasn’t unusual for him. Minghao had always been prone to odd dreams, some he remembered, some he did not. Some dreams just left him with odd questions stuck in his head that were forgotten the next morning. He still hadn’t lived down the time he woke up and was overcome with curiosity about whether his bedroom wall was still there or not (of course he had punched the wall to make sure and then forgotten until he was wondering what happened to his hand that afternoon). The point is that Minghao was unfazed by peculiar dreams, especially when he couldn’t remember them.

What was peculiar for Minghao was bumping into someone while he walked. Not that it had never happened. But Minghao was notoriously cautious when traveling through one of the busiest sections of campus. So suddenly being knocked on his ass by a stranger was a shock.

“Oh shit,” the stranger said crouching down in front of Minghao. “Are you okay?” Minghao nodded, checking his hands for scrapes thankful to find them in tact. He had no interest in doing wheel pottery that afternoon with bandaged palms. However his concern over his own hands was brought to a halt when another pair of warm hands surrounded his. “I’m so sorry, let me help you up,” Minghao looked up at the stranger while he apologised and Minghao would later swear that the moment their eyes met he knew they were meant to be.

“Th-thanks, uh,” Minghao could instantly feel heat rising in his cheeks, but who wouldn’t blush when they found themselves face to face with the most perfect human in existence. “I should have been looking where I walked.”

“How about I buy you a coffee and we call it even?” the stranger asked a small smile on his face, and maybe it was purely wishful thinking on Minghao’s part but he thought there was a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks.

“No, I couldn’t, I mean it’s really my fault I should have paid more attention, and uh-” Minghao’s mind short circuited when the corners of the stranger’s mouth fell, forcing him to forget how to speak.

“Well I kind of knocked you over so I owe you,” Minghao almost missed the hushed, “Unless you don’t wanna,” that followed the stranger’s sentence his heart almost stopping at the concept that the actual greek god in front him wanted to get coffee with him.

“No- nononono, I’d love to get coffee,” Minghao sputtered, dropping his eyes down to the concrete.

“Great!” the other man shouted grabbing Minghao’s hand again pulling him towards the little campus coffee shop, “I’m Mingyu by the way.”

“I’m Minghao,” Minghao said eyes locked on where their fingers intertwined.

 

-

 

That night when Minghao finally sunk back into his bed with clay still stuck in his nails and a pile of homework to work through he also had a smile on his face and a new number saved into his phone.

 

-

 

Years passed, the sun rose and fell as always, and time was as consistent as ever. Minghao sighed as he sunk into the ‘ugly’ mustard couch Mingyu had picked for their living room. Their cat, Dino, was curled up against his chest and Minghao felt content.

Originally Minghao had questioned how he had never seen Mingyu around their fairly small campus, but his curiosity was calmed when he learned that Mingyu had been an engineering major, while Minghao was working towards a degree in art education. And now they lived comfortably with Mingyu a busy engineer and Minghao as an art teacher at the local high school.

It hadn’t taken long after their first meeting for the two to begin dating and from there they fell in love almost too easily. Of course they had their spats and back in college there had even been a month in which they hadn’t spoken, but they always seemed to be drawn back to each other.

Minghao hummed as he turned the tv on to some drama he didn’t care too much about, he only had another hour until Mingyu returned from work so the show would have to work to distract him. He watched as the main characters got in some argument, his fingers brushing softly through Dino’s grey fur, and slowly Minghao fell asleep.

 

_Images, sharp and clear flashed through Minghao’s mind. A man standing in the middle of the highway, no, Mingyu standing in the middle of the highway. Mingyu’s figure shook with each car that passed, as if he were nothing but smoke, he raised his hand as if to tell Minghao to stay put, Minghao shook his head the light said it was safe to cross. As his foot moved towards the street Mingyu held both his hands waving them furiously, Minghao laughed gesturing to the light to show Mingyu it was safe. Tears began to fall down Mingyu’s cheeks as he held his hands out, his lips moving like he was talking, Minghao pointed to his ears to let Mingyu know he couldn’t hear him. Minghao went to move closer to his husband, stopping in his tracks when he read the word Mingyu’s lips kept repeating over and over ‘please’. Mingyu continued to cry and suddenly the sound of a truck horn blared through the air, the sound sharp while everything else still sounded as if he had cotton in his ears to Minghao. Frozen in place Minghao watched as a semi plowed through Mingyu’s figure, the whole image fading away like smoke in the wind._

_Minghao sat in a car, in front of him he could see the sunrise twinkling against the ocean waves. He smiled when he felt a familiar hand wrap around his own._

_“Hao,” Mingyu’s voice was faint, Minghao hummed in response watching as the sky moved through the clear sky. “No matter what, don’t come after me,” Mingyu looked at Minghao his eyes serious, Minghao was taken aback and about to ask Mingyu what he meant the orange glow of the sunset around them when suddenly Mingyu’s eyes turned white as paper his hand leaving Minghao’s to grip the steering wheel. Minghao screamed as the car began to fly through the air as if hit, crashing harshly into the water below them. Mingyu sat still in his spot at the wheel as water moved over the car bathing them in harsh red light blacking out Minghao’s vision._

_The light through the stained glass windows stung Minghao’s eyes. The air around him was heavily perfumed with floral scents but Minghao could still smell something lingering under it. The church around him was empty except for a black and gold casket in front of him, the top open so he could see the white satin lining. Curiosity drew Minghao towards it, but something else held him back. Yet without his feet moving, the aisle became shorter and shorter, in mere moments the casket was only a step away and Minghao could stare down into it. Mingyu lay still, as if asleep, surrounded by bright honeysuckles, spruce, and wilting sweet phlox. Minghao’s hand shook as he reached towards Mingyu’s calm face, brushing against his once warm skin. Without warning Mingyu’s eyelids shot open, they were once more blank and unseeing yet they pierced through Minghao. Mingyu’s mouth opened to speak, but hundreds of blood red carnations and roses spilled from his pale lips instead. His fingers gripped Minghao’s wrist rooting him to the spot, as if Minghao could have ran if he wanted to. Minghao was shaking as tears fell down his cheeks, shaking, and shaking, and shaking._

 

-

 

“-ao, Hao wake up,” Minghao’s eyes shot open, he breathed in broken gasps of air tears still rolling down his face. “Minghao, are you okay?” Mingyu’s hand carded through Minghao’s hair even though Minghao knew it was still dry from him dying it so many times. Minghao launched himself into Mingyu’s arms holding him close, sobs fighting their way from his throat. Mingyu didn’t ask any questions only sat holding Minghao against his chest and letting him cry.

“I had a dream you were dead,” Minghao whispered after he finally calmed down, “You were in a coffin, and it was so real.” Minghao purposely left out the bit about Mingyu coming back to ‘life’.

“Well I’m not dead and I have zero intentions of dying,” Mingyu stated clearly kissing the top of Minghao’s head. “Come on go wash your face and I’ll make dinner okay?” Minghao nodded sniffing a bit and smiling at the love of his life.

 

-

 

Weeks passed quickly after Minghao’s nightmare on the couch, and the dream found itself shoved in a back corner of Minghao’s mind all but forgotten. He walked around the art room cleaning up bottles of paints that had been strewn across the counters by students in his daily classes. His mind drifted to the upcoming art show that the school held every school year before summer vacation began.

Normally Minghao would add in a few of his own pieces to show his students that he was truly invested in the show, but this year nothing he had made really felt right. He had spent the past month worrying over what he would add. Originally he considered working with wheel pottery after all it was one of his favorite mediums but everytime he tried the clay felt wrong in his hands the subtle whine of the wheel grating against his eardrums. Next he had considered sculpture, but once again found no inspiration.

He sighed again, organising the acrylics into their cabinet when his hand knocked against a small tray of water colors. Minghao rolled his eyes, assuming some freshman had put them in the wrong spot, but he shrugged and picked the tray up to put away. Suddenly images flashed through his head, and Minghao nearly tripped in his rush to grab his sketch book from his desk. His hand flew over the paper rapidly as he sketched, he only moved to grab a small set of chalk pastels.

Without his knowledge hours passed. He was broken from his reverie by one of the school janitors, a kind woman named Amy. They talked for a few moments, Minghao apologising for not cleaning up as much as usual and Amy laughing and telling him it was no big deal she was only there to empty the trash cans and refill the paper towel dispensers. Before long they were each headed off down the hallways, Amy back to her office, and Minghao to his car.

 

-

 

Minghao spent the next month in a blur, working on setting his students up for the end of the year art show, putting in grades, finishing his own piece, and finding time to spend with Mingyu taking all of his focus. Mingyu had always been forgiving when it came to the end of the school year, encouraging Minghao to work on whatever big project he had thought up and never getting upset if Minghao forgot about things. It was one of the things Minghao loved about him.

He was putting the finishing touches on his project on the Friday before the Monday opening of the art show. Adding in final bits of shading and details to the massive canvas he was painting. Minghao smiled looking at the finished product, wiping his hands off on a towel before pulling out his phone to snap a picture for Mingyu, he would love it.

Just as he was about to send the image to his boyfriend his phone screen lit up with a call from an unknown number. Without thinking Minghao accepted the call, expecting it to be someone calling about the upcoming show (he had gotten four calls already about whether there would be an auction there or not). “Hello?” he said into the phone.

“Is this Xu Minghao?” a woman’s voice asked, Minghao could hear a faint beeping and shuffling from the other end of the call.

“Yes, how can I help you?”

“I’m from the hospital, a patient has come in with you listed as his emergency contact.”

“Oh?” Minghao asked fear beginning to prickle at the edges of his heart.

“Yes a Mr. Kim Mingyu was brought into the E.R with severe injuries from a car accident are you able to make it to the hospital?”

“Mingyu? Is he okay?” Minghao was already moving towards the school parking lot, his eyes locking on the last tails of the setting sun. The woman made some comment about not being able to share that information over the phone, “I’ll be there soon.” Minghao ended the call throwing his phone into the passenger seat and speeding out of the parking lot. During the drive to the hospital Minghao was sure he’d broken at least fifty traffic laws, but luck seemed to be on his side when he pulled into the parking lot.

Time seemed to race forward and stand still at the same time as he sprinted to the front desk. The nurse on duty sent him off to a closed operating room where Mingyu was. Outside a police officer stood apparently waiting for Minghao if the way he immediately walked over to him and began to talk was any indication.

“Xu Minghao?” He asked Minghao flinched a bit, he’d always been uncomfortable around police. He nodded anyway. “I’m Officer Choi Seungcheol.” Minghao bowed a bit, remembering his manners even though his mind was racing a million miles a minute and his heart was filled with icy fear. “Kim Mingyu was in a car accident as I’m assuming you’ve heard,” Minghao nodded, “He was driving over the Jugeum Bridge when a semi swerved and hit his car, the driver was intoxicated and is currently being held.” Minghao swore his heart stopped the officer looked at him sadly. “The vehicle was knocked off of the bridge and into the river, your he was knocked unconscious during the impact and was unable to escape the vehicle before it sank. He was sped here as soon as he was retrieved from the vehicle.”

Minghao’s vision blurred and for a moment he thought he was going to faint, until he blinked and found that it was only tears that had flooded his eyes. The officer handed Minghao a small box and placed his hand on Minghao’s shoulder reassuringly. “This is all that’s been recovered from the vehicle at the moment, I wish him a speedy recovery the police department will be in contact with you both at a later time,” and with that the officer left. Minghao stumbled over to one of the ugly chairs in the waiting area outside the still closed operating room. The box was only about as big as his palm, matte black with a still wet golden ribbon tied around it. He clutched it to his chest curling himself around it shaking as tears slid down his face.

 

-

 

_Minghao sat alone on a bench, the moon full yet dull above him. He knew Mingyu was next to him, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak to him. They sat in silence staring at the night sky. The air around them was still, it was if time had stopped in place just for them. Minghao smiled at the thought, smiled at the feeling of Mingyu’s fingers intertwined with his._

_“Hao,” Mingyu’s voice was muffled even though he was only centimeters from Minghao. “Promise me something.”_

_“Anything,” Minghao’s answer was immediate._

_“Don’t try to come after me, be happy.”_

_“What do you mean?” Minghao asked turning towards Mingyu._

_“Don’t,” Mingyu said pushing Minghao to face the moon once again. “Just be happy, Hao, and remember I love you.”_

_“I don’t think I can forget when you tell me every day, Gyu” Minghao chuckled._

_“Yeah,”  Minghao couldn’t miss the sadness in Mingyu’s voice._

_“I love you too, Mingyu,” he said._

_“It’s time for you to wake up now, Hao,” Mingyu said letting go of Minghao’s hand. “Go be happy,”  Minghao could hear Mingyu’s steps fade away into nothing as his vision did the same._

 

-

 

Mingao awoke to stinging eyes and a crick in his neck from sleeping in the waiting room. He was barely able to figure out where he was before a doctor came out of the operating room door weariness evident in his cat like eyes. Minghao stood quickly.

“Mr. Xu?” the doctor questioned.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, but we’ve done everything we could.” Minghao went numb, “The injuries were too much for even our most experienced staff, we offer our sincere sympathies to you and the family of Mr. Kim.”

If the doctor continued to talk Minghao didn’t hear it. His brain was too busy trying to understand that Mingyu was dead. His vision blurred again, and this time it went black.

 

-

 

Minghao took the week of the funeral off of work. He’d only returned to drop off a set of lesson plans for the sub. While he was there he had grabbed the canvas that held his work for the show and slipped it into the back of his car before driving back to the apartment he and Mingyu had shared.

Dino meowed when he walked in the door, tapping his paw against a pair of Mingyu’s sneakers as if to ask where his other dad was. Minghao bit his lip, pulling the canvas into the apartment and promptly facing it into a corner where he didn’t have to see it.

After he had left the hospital Minghao had had the job of telling their friends and family about Mingyu’s death. A couple of their friends had asked if he wanted to stay with them for a while; then Minghao had thought the idea dumb, but the more he looked at the apartment and all the little details Mingyu had brought to it the more he wished he had taken them up on those offers. Minghao just shook his head and went to sleep in the guest bedroom (he still couldn’t stomach the idea of sleeping in their bed without Mingyu).

 

-

 

The funeral for Mingyu was simple and clean. Minghao had picked out a elegant black casket with golden detailing and a white satin lining. He liked to hope Mingyu found it pretty. The church was filled with flowers some from a florist Mingyu’s mother had hired, but most were sent by friends Mingyu had made. Minghao had always told him he was too kind for his own good.

To his surprise Minghao made it through the funeral without a single tear. Even the burial left him unaffected, he just stood and watched as they threw the dirt over the casket. He didn’t speak at the lunch they held after, simply sat in a corner and watched. Then after he’d helped Mrs. Kim clean up, he drove home and went to bed Dino curled next to his head.

 

-

 

The passage of time from there was unsteady for Minghao after that. He put a few older bowls into the art show, he couldn’t bear to put the piece he’d stored in his living room into the show. Couldn’t bear to look at it. Couldn’t bear to make anything new. It was as if all color had left him. The school year ended and summer loomed ahead of him. Minghao spent most of his time inside, only leaving to go the store for groceries. He and Mingyu had kept a healthy savings, with Mingyu’s high paying job and Minghao’s teaching salary made for a decent income. And that wasn’t to mention the commissions that Minghao would occasionally take during summers. Either way Minghao had no worries about finances at the moment, but he knew that would end.

Occasionally one of his and Mingyu’s friends would stop by and check in on Minghao. Mostly Minghao would assure them he was okay, and try to rush them off as fast as possible. He guessed one of the cons of being with someone for nearly seven years was that all of your friends end up being shared so you can’t see them without remembering. Really Minghao couldn’t do anything without being reminded of Mingyu, and everyday he swore he died a little more without him.

 

-

 

Minghao stood on the balcony of the apartment, looking down with a vague interest at the street below. When they’d been hunting for apartments after college, Minghao had said that being on the fourth floor would be a pain in the ass, but Mingyu had been so sure that it was the place that Minghao couldn’t bear to say no. Although he did throw a few to many ‘told you so’s around when they were moving in and Mingyu had complained about carrying furniture up the stairs.

Minghao wondered what would happen if he climbed onto the railing and let himself fall down to the concrete. Putting his palms against the wood he pushed his feet off the ground a few centimeters. He could do it so easily.

He had one leg over the railing when his brain filled with Mingyu’s voice.

 

_“Don’t.”_

 

Minghao backed away from the balcony as if he’d been burned. He looked around to see if it was just someone pulling a sick joke, only to find nothing.

“M-Mingyu?” his voice was barely even a whisper.

 

_“Don’t try and come after me.”_

 

Images flashed through Minghao’s mind, the street, the sun, Mingyu. Tears ran down Minghao’s cheeks as he rushed into the apartment, taking Dino and locking them both into his and Mingyu’s bedroom. Everything was still exactly as it had been before, Mingyu’s clothes on the floor near the hamper (Minghao had always nagged him about being sloppy) their bed unmade. The only difference was a small black box, tossed unceremoniously on the bedside table the gold ribbon still wilted from being dunked in water.

Minghao moved towards the box cautiously, as if it would attack him. The box itself was smooth in his hands, and Minghao stared at it as he slowly pulled the end of the ribbon untying the bow. The ribbon fell to the carpet where it quickly became a toy for Dino. Minghao’s hands shook as he pulled the box open on it’s hinges. Inside a small silver ring glinted in the light from the window. Minghao lifted the ring as if it would shatter, studying the surface. It was a simple band dotted with small diamonds along the outside, but it was what was inside that finally snapped Minghao’s heart. An engraving in crisp looping letters.

 

_‘Til Death Do Us Part_

 

Minghao rushed from the bedroom to the canvas that still faced the wall. Flipping it without hesitation and collapsing to his knees.

There immortalised in chalk pastel was Mingyu, eyes shut as if he were asleep his lashes resting against his cheek bones. He was dressed in a beautiful suit, like the one he was buried in. Surrounded by bright red carnations and roses. His left hand rested against his shoulder and on his finger sat a ring exactly like the one in Minghao’s hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Flowers mentioned r there 4 reasons  
> Red roses and carnations= love  
> Sweet phlox= dreams  
> Honeysuckle= affection  
> Spruce= farewell
> 
> It's after midnight and I have a 4 page rough draft due in the morning that I haven't started yet I had 2 write this 7 page thing  
> lord save me


End file.
